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Day 2 of Rehearsal
Two Days before Showtime
At Duncan's Barge
Song playing, "You can leave your Hat On"


Joe
Shoulders left 1 2 3 4, right 1 2 3 4 ... Fitz! Stay in line! Kronos, you're way ahead of the group. Duncan! No, no, no, no. Stop the music, Amanda. Left Feet! All of you have two left feet! (sighs)

Richie
Joe, can we rest for a bit?

Joe
Might as well. Okay everybody, take 5.

Methos
We should have gone with the funky chicken routine.

Joe
No one dances the funky chicken anymore, Methos, especially while taking their clothes off.

Amanda
When do they get to the stripping part?

Joe
They won't get there till they learn not to bump into each other and dance.

Amanda
Maybe I can teach them.

Duncan
Oh sure. You're a regular dancing queen.

Amanda ignores Duncan

Amanda
I've done a bit of dancing in my time.

Duncan
Tell me, were you accompanied with five lunatics ..

Everybody stares at Duncan

Fitz
Hey!

Duncan
No offense.

Methos
None taken.

Duncan
(resumes)
..where was I? Oh, yeah. Five lunatics, a bartender for a choreographer, dancing to Tom Jones, performing before the day you might die at who knows where?

Amanda
No.

Duncan
Aha.

Amanda
You have to give me a chance, Duncan.

Duncan
You already got me to do this. What more do you want?

Methos
Let the vixen give it a shot. We've got nothing to lose .. but our clothes.

Amanda looks hopefully at Duncan. He rolls his eyes heavenward and shrugs.

Joe
Okay Amanda, whenever you're ready.

Amanda stretches

Amanda
Play the song Joe.

Joe plays the music

Baby, take off your coat, real slow.
Baby, take off your shoes. I'll help you take off your shoes.
Baby, take off your dress. Yes, yes, yes.

Amanda
Feel the rhythm .. yeah .. that's it Connor, you got it. Look at my hips.

Everybody looks at her hips or at least some of them did.

Amanda
My hips, Richie. Not my a**!

Richie blushes

Amanda
Duncan sweetie, you're doing fine. That's right Richie, shake your fanny whammy! Fitz! Stay in line! Why Kronos, didn't know you can move like that. Come on Methos, this was YOUR idea.

Now, let's review Joe's moves. Shake those shoulders, Right 1 2 3 4, Left 1 2 3 4 .. Right arm up and down. Pelvis thrust! Great! Joe?

Joe stops the music. All Immortals look at each other, please with their progress

Amanda
See? That wasn't so hard. Try perfecting those steps then we'll move on to what to take off first.

Kronos
What to take off? We haven't even talked about what to put on.

Fitz
Someone suggested dressing like the village people.

Methos
Wasn't me!

Richie
What village? Who's village?

Connor
I don't think so. They're almost naked as it is.

Duncan
Good. It'll be a short program then.

Amanda
Nope. That will definitely NOT do. There won't be enuff time for teasing the audience.

Duncan
We don't even know who the audience are!

Amanda waves her hand

Connor
We are going to STRIP, okay? Not tickle the fancies of hormonal raging wom ...

Fitz
Ah ah ah, same thing.

Duncan
Who exactly are we performing for, Methos?

Methos
Oh, it's a surprise.

Duncan
No more secrets. Speak up or you won't live to be at the Gathering.

Methos
Choices, choices, choices. (sighs) Okay, I'll level with you. It's not because I like it.

Duncan
Humph.

Methos
Blame BG. It was her idea.

Richie
A bright girl indeed.

Kronos
She thought of it, let her do it then.

Methos
She will, I mean, she did.

Amanda
Why wasn't I informed of this?

Duncan
(smirks)
You would've joined her?

Connor
When? Where? Who ... who did she dance for?

Methos
(looks away)
Uh, me.

Fitz
Bloody lucky bloke, that's what you are!

Methos
I think she likes me.

Richie
I think she does.

Methos
So, I owe her.

Duncan
Oh great! You get a treat and in turn, we strip? I bet she was the sending those threats.

Methos
I don't think so and there was nothing I can do, Mac.

Kronos
Did you forget the word NO?

Methos
She was pretty persuasive.

Richie
I bet she was.

Amanda
Richie!

Methos
Look at me, Highlander, and tell me you've never ever, for once in 400 years, have ever thought of doing this.

Duncan looks at Methos

Duncan
Never.

Methos
Fitz?

Fitz
Well ....

Duncan
Fitz!

Fitz
Sorry dear boy but being .. always surrounded with women and all, I can't help but think about it from time to time. Oh don't look at me like you're going to crucify me. I'm not a Savior laddie, I am but a man, subjected to manly needs.

Duncan
Like taking your clothes off in front of a bunch of women.

Fitz
Exactly!

Methos
Richie?

Richie
Hey! No need to ask me. I was sold the first time you mentioned it.

Methos
Connor?

Connor
I have to agree with Duncan. (Duncan smiles smugly at Methos) This seems really .. what's the word ..

Richie
Far out?

Connor
Ridiculous was what I was aiming for.

Methos
Kronos?

Kronos growls, his eyes narrows into slits

Methos
Ooh..kay ... Listen to me. All of you. The Gathering. There can be only one. Who's it going to be? You? (points at Duncan), you? (stares Connor down) or maybe even you! (Richie backs off)

Richie
Haven't you been listening to me? I'm on your side.

Methos nods

Methos
For one day, can't we all let go of our inhibitions? For one day, we can be uh, fri.. equals. Naked, we have the same strength and weakness. No one's more powerful than the other.

Richie
Yeah right!

Connor
(laughs)
I can almost see us the day after the show. Fighting one on one. Gives a whole new meaning to "picturing one naked" when nervous.

Amanda
Ties off first!

Everyone looks at Amanda, who was pacing around

Amanda
You've got to wear neckties! A suit! No wait, you need hats. That's what the song is all about ... "You can leave your hat on." (she hums) ..you can leave your hat on ..

All eyes were transfixed on her. Richie starts dancing to her humming. She then stops pacing, straightens up, grabs her coat and heads for the door.

Joe
Where are you going?

Amanda
(turns around, eyes lit up)
Research ..(smiles) Ta ta!

Amanda leaves, Methos starts going for the door

Kronos
And where do you think you're going?

Methos
Out for a drink.

Duncan
There's beer in the fridge.

Methos
Wrong. Didn't you see the note I stuck on it?

Duncan
You left me a note on my fridge?

Methos
Yes. Go read it. I'm gone.

Methos exits. Duncan saunters over to the fridge. He sees the note, takes a closer look and reads outloud.

Duncan
No beer. Methos says, Go buy.

Day 3 of Rehearsal