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Day 3 of Rehearsal
A Day before Showtime
Methos Apartment


Joe
No time to get shy now.

Duncan
Perfect time actually.

Each Immortal looks at each other. Sizing each other up.

Fitz
We're all men here.

Connor
That's the problem.

Kronos
Stripping in front of women is one thing, but here? Now? With you guys?

Methos
A bit insecure are we, Kronos?

Krnonos
(squints angrily)

Richie
This woman, Godiva right? You must like her a lot.

Fitz
Scared of her is more like it.

Duncan
Enough already. Okay, tops off.

Everyone starts taking off their shirts. Richie tosses his on the floor and started flexing a bit. Connor reluctantly unbuttons his polo shirt while Fitz was checking out his chest hairs and looking at MacLeod, to check who's got a lot more? Kronos takes of his leather jacket and tentatively drops it on the floor. He then slowly pulls his white shirt over his head. All Immortals felt a BUZZ and heard a slow whistle at the same time. Amanda stood at the door, looking at them appreciatively. Methos walks barechested to the fridge and takes out a beer.

Methos
Beer anyone?

Duncan
Yeah, toss me one will ya (folds shirt and places on bed, looks at Amanda for a sec).

Fitz
You wouldn't have any wine by chance, do you laddie?

Methos
I have the whole bloody Bud family in here. They don't like tangy visitors though.

Fitz
What do you have against the word No anyway?

Amanda
Oh sure, ignore the lady.

Duncan
There's a lady? Where?

Amanda crosses her arms in front of her and gives Duncan the evil eye. Duncan smiles. There was then somekind of a commotion just right behind Amanda. She turns.

Amanda
Hold on guys, stay there.

Joe
You brought guests?

Amanda
I suppose you can say that.

Duncan
Look at us, Amanda.

Amanda
(looks)
What am I looking for?

Connor
Can't you see we're in the middle of something?

Amanda
Practicing I presume.

Fitz
She can stay and watch.

All eyes focus on Fitz, disbelievingly

Amanda
I brought home my Research okay? I'm willing to share my findings for the betterment of the show.

Methos
Research. Findings? What sort of findings?

Amanda
(motions a "come here" gesture out the door)

BJ and AJM enters, wearing a "police" get up, complete with hats

BJ
Hey!

AJM
Hello!

Richie
They're wearing our costume!

Amanda
Yes, they are. These guyz are the real strippers.

Kronos
Oh and we're not real?

Duncan
What exactly are you hoping to accomplish, Amanda?

Richie
Mac, isn't it obvious? She's subtly telling you that she prefers younger men.

Amanda
(shakes her head)
For you guys to learn the art of stripping, what's better than to watch the experts?

Connor
You want US to WATCH these guys TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES?

Amanda
In a manner of speaking, aha.

Kronos
And they agreed to this?

AJM
Umm, we're right here. You can ask us directly.

BJ
We're getting paid.

AJM
In full, I hope.

Amanda
In full.

Joe
So this is your job?

BJ
We're temps.

Methos
Temps? You're saying that when a strip club somewhere losses an employee. There's an agency out there who'll supply them a temporary stripper until they hire a permanent one?

AJM
Yes.

Joe
Where did you find these guys?

Amanda
I saw them performing in thier last gig .. and yes Duncan, I went to strip clubs! For .. you.

Duncan
Aww, for me? (sarcastic tone)

Fitz
Enough yakking.

Kronos
I know I speak for everybody in this room when I say, No Way!

Amanda
But they're good.

BJ and AJM grins broadly

Duncan
No.

Amanda
But .. you can learn.

Fitz
Ah-ah.

Amanda
But .. I'm paying.

Methos
(looks at Fitz then at Amanda)
N-O.

Amanda
But, but .. but ..

Connor
No more buts. End of argument.

Amanda slumps her shoulders and casts a "sorry guyz" look at the two strippers.

BJ
We need money for the cruise.

Methos nods at Amanda's direction. She meets him outside the room. Methos hands her a couple of francs.

Methos
Take them to the Chateau.

Amanda
The Harem?

Methos
Blindfolded.

Amanda calls to BJ and AJM to leave and then looks straight at Duncan.

Amanda
You're gonna regret this Duncan, (she leaves).

Duncan
Not in a million years.

Fitz
If you live to be a million.

Methos
I'm almost there.

Kronos
Not if I can help it.

Richie
Where were we?

Connor
The door's lock?

Methos goes and locks the door.

Duncan
Okay. Shoes off then socks then ..

Kronos
We know the routine.

Hands were positioned on the buttons of their pants

Fitz
Well? What are you laddies waiting for?
(pants down on his ankles)

Joe
(plays the song "HotStuff")
We need music for this (laughs).

Slacks, jeans, leather pants fell to the floor.

BG
Ehe-ehem!

Everybody whirled around. The six Immortals were too focused on taking their pants off, they didn't hear the door creak until it was too late. BG stood at the door.

Methos
BG?

Kronos
(does a double take)
Godiva?

Godiva
Dear?

BG
It's okay. She's blindfolded.

Duncan
Because...?

BG
Because ... well, isn't it obvious?
(gestures at them)

Connor
Because you knew we're gonna be stripped down to our..
(trails off)

Godiva
(whispers)
Stripped down to ... *sigh*

Connor
Our briefs.

Methos
Boxers.

Gazes at Methos, a smile spread on her face

BG
You're wearing my present.

Embarassed, Methos looks away

Fitz
The door was locked! Methos!

BG lifts her hand and dangles a key

Methos
(closes his eyes as if in pain)
Spare keys.

Richie
Hi! I'm Richie.
(offers his hand)

BG
(shakes hands)
Well, Hellooo Nurse!

Methos
(interrupting)
You couldn't have called? Knocked?

Duncan
HA! Now you know how I feel.

BG
Sheesh! It's not like I've never seen you guyz naked before.

Methos looks at her, wide eyed, then turns to growl at the others. Hands went up defensively.

Connor
No idea what she's talking about.

BG
Hey! I dream, too, ya know ... YOU have a HAREM!

Methos
And you're one of my haremites.

BG
(hands on hips)
Am I denying that?

Methos
Why are you here?

BG
(bounces up and down)
I can't believe I'm right on time. What are the odds ya'll all be almost butt naked?

Methos
Why BG?

BG
I brought your undies.

Methos
(cringes)

BG
Thongs. The last piece of clothing you're taking off.

Methos
Lemme see.

BG
Here they .. oh, Godiva. You better sit down for a moment.

Kronos was dressed. He takes Godiva's elbow and was showing her to the door.

Kronos
I'm taking her to the Kompound.

Godiva
We're staying.

Kronos
You're not gonna see anything anyway.

Godiva looks directly at Kronos. How she found him blindfolded is still a mystery.

Kronos
Fine.
(guides her to a seat)

BG rummages through her backpack, pulls out six thongs and flings one at Methos. Her throw was too high that it went over Methos' head and hits ..

Connor
Whoa!

.. on the face. She throws one for each Immortal except Methos. She closes in on him, thong in hand, stretching the garter, smiling wickedly.

Methos
It's blue.

BG
Bright Boy!

Duncan
Metallic blue!

Fitz
Shiny, metallic blue.

Kronos
Shiny, look-at-me, metallic blue.

Richie
It's too small!

BG
Exactly!

Connor
This is a joke. An evil practical joke. All of this.

Fitz
Pardon me lassie but there's velcro on them.

BG
That is so you can do this.
(BG takes the thong from Methos, puts it on, over her jeans then snaps it off)
See?

Kronos covers Godiva's eyes.

Godiva
No need for that, dear.

Kronos
You might be peeking, My sweet.

Godiva
BG, why did you take me here?

Kronos
Are you kidding? She's making sure I'm in the show.

BG
You want a looky, Godiva?

Godiva
YES.

Kronos
NO. (pauses)
Besides, I'm fully clothed.

Godiva
I'm not just here for you, dear.

3 hrs to UnDress Rehearsal