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UnDress Rehearsal
Next stop, ShowTime!
At an Abandoned Warehouse


Intense excitement and anticipation clung in the air inside an abandoned warehouse. Eyes looked on the set up stage, waiting for Six Immortals to sashay their way to nudity. A mini camera hidden from view perched up on one of the metal bars on the ceiling of the roof. Who put it there, know one knows as of yet. To the left of the stage was the "dressing room."

Duncan
This is it.

Five pairs of eyes looked at Duncan

Fitz
Shush, old Scot. BG's out on stage.

All Six Immortals strained to hear BG speak

BG
Ladies .... (pauses)

Connor
I'm starting to hate plural words.

BG
... and Gentlemen.

Kronos
Men? Did I hear her say men?

Methos
Gentlemen.

Kronos
I don't give a d@mn if they're gentle.

Fitz
Shush! We'll miss our cue.

BG
Welcome to the warehouse, also known as, NIRVANA!

The crowd went wild

Duncan
I .. hear a crowd.

Richie
Definitely a crowd.

Duncan
Methos, I thought it was just BG and a small group of friends.

Methos
You have to understand. BG has a completely different set of vocabulary. She doesn't even know what a "Webster" is.

Fitz
Good Grief!!

Kronos
Shush!

BG
As ya'll know, this is just a dress Rehearsal.

Somebody from the crowd shouted, "UnDress Rehearsal!"

All Six Immortals gulped

BG
(laughs)
That's right, Wingnut! Though I regret to inform ya'll that they won't be doing the Full Monty today.

Lots of AWWWWW's of disappointment was expressed

Connor
YES!

Fitz
Don't be so jolly yet, listen ...

BG
But tomorrow, heh heh. Tomorrow.. they TAKE it aaalllll off! WOHOO!

The crowd roars!

BG
Ya'll hold on for a sec. I'll go see if our performers are ready.

When BG goes in the room, all Six had their arms crossed in front of them and a the look of "You're-in-deep-trouble" on their faces.

Duncan
We're not ready.

BG
Yes you are!
(swats Duncans arm)

Methos
How many, BG?

BG
It's a small group.

Methos
Define small. In your own terms. Preferably in numbers.

BG
(mumbles)
Fiftimbblah.

Methos
FIFTEEN?

Richie
You understood her?

BG
(smiles sheepishly)
Actually, sixteen. I forgot to count the photographer.

Connor
Nobody said anything about fifteen people.

Fitz
Sixteen.

Kronos
Nobody said anything about a photographer. Nobody, I say, NOBODY is going to take pictures of me "au naturel."

BG
It's for ... my personal photo album.

Duncan
You're not fooling any of us. You're biting your lips again.
(smirks)

Richie
You'll probably put together a magazine then publish it. It'll be all over Paris then it'll be shipped to the US ..

Kronos
World domination.

BG
I'm flattered that you guyz think that I can accomplish such a task.

Duncan
I can see it now. Press Release, new magazine titled, "Immortels Décolleurs."

Richie
What?

Methos
Immortal Strippers.

Outside, the crowd were getting impatient. 15 ain't much but them ladies can sure make noise!

BG
The crowd's getting antsy by the second. You guyz will just have to swallow your insecurities and lack of self-esteem and go out there!

All Six Immortals looked at each other. Suddenly, the door to the room, creaked open and a raven-haired woman slipped in, a camera around her neck.

Kronos
Let me guess. The photographer.

Riot
We prefer to be called, "SCGs." It's got a nice ring to it plus it sounds professional.

Fitz
I'm rather curious about what it means but I'm afraid to ask.

Riot
BG?

BG
"SCGs" is the short cut for, "Say Cheese Gals."

Methos
How appropriate.

Richie
And creative.

Riot
Glad you approve. Now for the matter at hand.
(pulls BG by the arm)
When are they coming out? Everybody's waiting.

BG
(smiles at Riot then turns her attention to all Six Immies)
It's time.

Duncan, Methos, Fitz, Richie, Connor and Kronos all looked nervously at BG then at their costumes. Out on stage, the crowd was getting restless. Finally BG, came out and a thunder of claps greeted her. The audience were on their feet in a second, whistling, cheering, shouting out, "STRIP!, STRIP!, STRIP!" She looked questioningly, an eyebrow cocked at BJ and AJM, who were also joining the chorus of women. They both shrugged their shoulders and sat down. Riot came out from behind BG and had her camera poised, ready to shoot. BG smiled and raised her left arm to motion them to sit down. Everybody went silent.

BG
Behave yourselves. Ya'll have all the time to get rowdy when they come out. As for the two of you, (BG turned her gaze at the two strippers ... her serious face broke into a grin), ya'll can get up and join the group if you want to.

With that, the women went wild again and two guys WooHooed in joy

BG
Lets get this rehearsal on the road!
(faces Riot)
Go position yourself somewhere.
(faces the audience)
Ladies and Gents! Introducing our Six performers, stripping to the song, Rock and Roll2!

Methos sauntered unto the stage, nodded at BG then winked at the women. Wingnut was spotted bouncing up and down, waving a $50 dollar bill in her right hand. Methos saw her and threw his head back in laughter. He looked past his shoulders to see Connor glued to the floor from where he came out. Behind him, an excited Richie was fidgeting with his tie. Finally, Richie pushed Connor out and the older Scot started walking out to the stage. A loud whistle was heard and Connor found Guins magnetic gaze on him. That seemed to relaxed him for awhile. Richie was trotting eagerly after Connor, waving and flashing his million watt smile. The younger Scot came trailing out after Richie, a stiff smile on his face.

Amanda
There's my big brown eyed Boyscout!

Duncan stopped, stared at Amanda, took his hat off and gave a bow, which earned him a standing ovation. When Fitz came out though, three lassies started chanting his name ... "Fitz! Fitz! Fitz! Fitz!" The dear boy scanned the crowd for MacKinney, COglo and Duchess and when he found them, he blew them kisses. The three ladies fainted right then. But wait, where's Kronos?

Dannell
Hey BG Sugah! I reckon ya'll only have five buckaroos on stage!

Taz
Yeah, where's the Leather Lad I've been hearing about?

BG
Duly noted Danny, Taz.
(sighs)
Kronos?

Godiva
Come on out, dear.

Kronos' head poked out from where he was hiding and looked at Godiva sheepishly. He then took a deep breath and strolled towards his position on stage, right next to Fitz. BG went over to him and gave his hand a squeeze.

BG
You're gonna be great (she whispered)

BG walks off the stage and headed for Riot. She then signals an ok sign at Joe, who was acting as sound director. After a few seconds past, the intro of Rock and Roll2 filled the warehouse. Hips began swaying. The crowd roared.

Richie
Duncan!
(turns then raises left arm)
Duncan!

Duncan
What?!!
(steps back and shakes his shoulders)
Can't you see I'm busy?!

Richie
10 o'clock NOW!

Duncan
I don't have the time, Richie!
(takes his tie off and twirls it above his head)
Take your d@mn tie off!

Richie
(removes his tie swiftly and throws it at Delaina)
No, I mean, take a look 10 o'clock. It's Consone! I thought you killed him?
(unbuttons his shirt)

Duncan
Consone?
(went down on his knees and slides forward in sync with Methos and Kronos)
Tha..that's impossible!!!

Indeed, there stood Consone. Or is it really him standing in between Methos Watcher and Dragonfly? Up above them was the camcorder ... a flashing red light signaling low batt ........

After Dress Rehearsal