BG
Why do you always get to be on top?

Methos
I dunno, maybe I'm meant to be on top. The wheels of fate has spoken, don't argue with it.

BG
Will you move your knee out from between my legs?

Methos
It's suppose to be there.

BG
No it's not. Can't you remember anything? I said, try sliding your HAND between my legs.

Methos
If I put my hand there, it's gonna be an awkward position.

BG
I'm already in a much awkward position okay! Lets just stick to the rules.

Methos
Rules? How can there be rules in what we're doing. OW! Don't shove your ass up my thighs, will ya. Sensitive part at 2 o'clock.

BG
Shut up! Now reach over and ...

Methos
... and what?

BG
Read the manual.

Methos
My arms and your arms are kinda tangled right now and my hand is you-know-where. So how do you propose I do that, Bright Girl?

BG
I dunno.

Methos
I told you we should've brought a third person in.

BG
I'm as embarassed as it is, having someone see us in this position will be a totally humiliating experience.

Methos
YOU suggested we try this so shut up.

BG
Okay, okay, move your chest to the right so I can put my hands ...

Methos
Where, pray tell?

BG
This piece of rag should be bigger ya know.

Methos
Tell that to the store you bought it from.

BG
Shut up Methos!

Methos
Don't yell at me, your neck is within my biting range.

BG
Don't push.

Methos
I'm not pushing!

BG
You are, too. I can feel you push hard behind me.

Methos
Stop moving your pretty little ass. You're the one pushing up against me.

(Door slams open. Duncan enters) What the ..

(Fitz enters) Great Scot!

(Kronos enters) Methos?

(Richie enters) What's going on?

Duncan
Richie, turn around. Don't look.

Richie
Wha? What? Why?

Methos
Bloody Hell, MacLeod! What are you doing here?

BG
Geez, look what you did to the damn door. You're paying for that you hear.

Duncan
Maybe the two of you should get up before we start talking.

Kronos
Yeah, that looks pretty uncomfortable.

BG
You're telling me.

Methos
Don't look at us as if you caught us in *the act*. Haven't you seen people playing Twister before?

Richie
In their jammies? No.

BG and Methos stands up.

Methos
Whats reason for this little visit of yours.

Connor waved his hand to Duncan and ...

Connor
Let me. Each of us got this.
(shoves a flyer onto Methos hands)

Methos read the flyer. With each word, his eyes grew wider. After reading it, he looked up and stared menacingly at BG

Methos
What ... is ... the *meaning* of THIS?!

BG
I have no idea what you're talking about. What is that?

BG took the paper from Methos and read it. She gasps!

BG
Surely you don't think I made this, do you?

Methos couldn't meet her gaze

BG
Well, do you?
(sighs)
Besides this doesn't mean squat!

Methos
Of course I believe you. You were with me the whole day. And the flyer's warm from the copy machine.

BG
Then what took you so long to say that?

Connor
What time is it?

Duncan
5 minutes to 2. Might as well check this out.

Everybody positioned themselves in front of the TV. When it was turned on, the final credits for an infomercial came up. "This is your last chance to order the fabulous *Thigh Master*, pick up the phone and dial now!"

Kronos
Well, looky here. It's the witch!

Duncan and Methos
Cassandra?

BG
Will you guyz wipe the drool dribbling off your mouths. Thighmaster, HA! She definitely needs it.

Fitz
I think we'll need popcorn.

Richie
It's startin!

The screen was blank for a few seconds then the word, "Hot Stuff," started blinking, then it grew bigger and bigger! The song filled the apartment, I want some Hot Stuff baby this evenin!

Then a voice boomed out ... "Do you know what you're missing?" The word HOT STUFF flashed again then it dissolved into the scene at the abandoned warehouse. Gotta have some Hot Stuff, gotta have some lovin' tonight!

"Six Brave Men ... velcroed costumes ... and you! They'll come, they'll strip, you'll scream!"

All six can't believe what they were seeing. On screen, there they were dancing ... the picture quality was horrible but you can still make out their faces. The sound though was AWESOME. Every shout, every gasp, every scream from the crowd can be heard.

Before anyone of them can say anything, they saw themselves rip their shirts off on TV ... then ... the screen went blank ... "YOU WANT MORE?" The address of the warehouse, time and date of the show appeared after which a commercial went on. Duncan turned the TV off.

All eyes were on BG.

BG
(stands up)
I swear I had nothing to do with this!

Richie
For all it's worth, we looked great!

Fitz
Yes. Don't be so hard on BG laddies. At least we were able to see how we did this afternoon. I must say, I'm quite proud of myself.

BG
Thank you, Fitz but I didn't do it.

Fitz
Now now lassie, the truth shall set you free.

BG
But I am innocent!

Kronos
That's what all criminals say.

BG
I am NOT a criminal. Can't you see? I'm being framed!

Kronos
Sure you are.

Duncan
That's enough, Kronos.

Kronos
Hey she started it.
(growls)

BG
Did not!
(sticks out her tongue)

Methos
So who did?

BG
(thinks then her eyes lit up)
Those son of a ... I mean daughters of a ... Naaahhh, they're pretty nice really. But then again ...

Connor
Care to share?

BG
I'm not sure if it's them. Hold on a minute.

BG found her knapsack and fished out a cellphone in it.

BG
Come on, come on.

Someone picked up from the other line, "Yeah?"

BG
Tell me you didn't do it! .... Aha ... really ... oh and that, too. I see ... you were doing me a favor ... don't even dare .. NO! .. Well, I'm not exactly getting a pat on my back right now .. yes, DO come over and bring your accomplice with you ... no no, I'm alone .. Methos? He's asleep ... yeah he needs to save his strength for tomorrow.

BG put the phone back in her bag then turned only to bump into Methos

Methos
The culprits?

BG
One of them. They'll be here and when they get here I'm gonna ... argh!

Richie
So who were they?